I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
