He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
you made out with another girl for some wings
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
