Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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