I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
