You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
