I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
this just has baby written all over it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
