break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
