ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I will pee on everything he values.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
