We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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