is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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