I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
