If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
