so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
