Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
