two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
