She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
