before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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