i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
