This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
