She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
