i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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