I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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