but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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