started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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