I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
