Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
