Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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