Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
