Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
