I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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