Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
