I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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