Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
