Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
