So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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