Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
