According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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