It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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