think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
