he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
