Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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