I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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