please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
