K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just googled if crying burns calories
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
