I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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