It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
