Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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