adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
