You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
