My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
