I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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