I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
