Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Just puked most of my soul out..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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